#fragile masculinity

[old-acc-discourseisdumb]

If you’re wondering why men are ‘not allowed’ to be affectionate with each other without being called gay or to have female friends they aren’t in love with, it’s because of hegemonic masculinity.

Raewyn Connel came up with this concept, the ideal which all men are expected to compare themselves to. Hegemonic means dominant in a social or political context.

Outside of hegemonic masculinity, there’s complicit masculinities expressed by men who aren’t ‘the perfect man’ but still uphold it’s ideals, such as the typical virgin gamer stereotype, physically weak men, unmarried middle age men, unemployed men, etc. marginalised masculinities are men who don’t receive as many benefits from patriarchy due to class, race, disability, trans identity, etc. This is a distinct (but often overlapping) category from subordinated masculinities, meaning men who are grouped with women but still have significant benefits of male privilege. These are feminine men, emotional men, gay men, etc.

Psychologists Amy Cohn and Amos Zeichner say there are four dimensions to hegemonic masculinity: competitiveness and dominance; emotional inexpressiveness (except for anger); gender role stress (maintaining the act of masculinity); and homophobia and misogyny. Men who defy these hegemonic ideals, such as men who are open about mental health, men who parent their children, men who are allies and feminists, and men who don’t exhaust themselves with those standards are all written off as subordinated masculinities, grouped with gay men.

Notice all of those standards are essential for friendship. Emotional vulnerability and equality especially. That creates a standard for men where they’re allowed to want sex (and expected to) but aren’t allowed to want emotional connections, so actual closeness is impossible for the man with hegemonic and complicit masculinities.

TL;DR the components which make up ‘ideal masculinity’ contradict close friendships, so men are assumed to be incapable of forming bonds which aren’t sexual in nature.

Btw I got all of this from Gender: A Graphic Guide by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele. Highly recommended book to help deconstruct gender norms and to learn more about this stuff

[siriuslydandy]

[whotoldyouso]

traditionally 'masculine' men: i need a woman to make me dinner🥺 i can't do it myself because that's her place to do so and i'm just too manly 🥺 she needs to be nurturing like my mommy🥺 also her asking for any material possession in return for her services is so rude of her weeeeeeh😭 doesn't she know she's my mommy???😭😭😭

[more-than-just-a-psychopath]

Honestly if you’re the kind of “nice guy” that gets offended when I say no thanks to your offer to come cuddle then fuck you. Don’t paint me out to be a bitch because I damaged your ego for not jumping on you. Fuck you, you’re litterally the most fragile kind of guy and there’s no place for you here

[nobigneil]

"That was hysterical. Your masculinity is so fragile that MY nail polish upsets you? That's why I wear it all the time now." - Neil "not a therapist" Newbon

from Kal via @ CheekyLilPupp on twitter

[whoperlokian-bendingismagic]

Men need to learn how to take a compliment. One time I was talking with some women I knew about the wedding rings we were getting. One of the women looked at my hands and said “oh! You have such pretty hands!” And then almost immediately remembered I was a man and went “sorry, I meant gorgeous, sorry, handsome hands. You have handsome hands.” Like? She had me at “pretty”.

I have a coworker whose husband is very Masculine™️ and she will give me an unadulterated compliment using words like “cute” or “pretty” and then almost immediately “remember herself” around me and revise the compliment to be more manly.

And it kind of breaks my heart a tiny bit. Women are great at complimenting. They see something worth complimenting and they just do it. I love that. But they've been trained by men who can’t take a compliment to revise that small impulsive truth to accommodate their fragile masculinity. Let my hands be pretty. Let my lunchbox and dream car and smile be cute. Let women compliment you and make you feel good about yourself because that’s all they’re trying to do, yeah?

[liberalsarecool]

Yuuuuuge.

[tobaitfishwith]

this man needs to get his life together

[injuries-in-dust]

Fun fact: a lot of sports are separated into mens and womens leagues because of fragile masculinity.

[app1es0uce]

Men would rather build an entire city of the dead and manage a factory he built from the ground up after convincing countless souls to work for him and doing paperwork for each thousands of persons he employed all while encouraging his wife’s alcohol addiction and yelling at her because she doesn’t support his weird ass wall on a river he didn’t even build himself for her and then get fucking told off by some kid he tried to kill and have an entire identity crisis because the kid played two chords and went la la la than go to therapy. 

[mightymorphinnegro]

Time to stand on wax

[gabbydoodle]

Hehe I made Jax cry in a corn maze because Goosey likes it when he cries

(idk how to draw this boy, help)

@gooseworx

[overclockedopossum]

So I saw this teenage(?) couple(?) the other day, and the girl grabbed the boy's hand and went "skip with me!"

So they skipped off together

Except the boy kept his other hand like casually in his pocket the entire time

[gramarobin]

The Gulf of Fragile Masculinity 🤣🤣🤣

[hourintime]

[liberalsarecool]

The fragile masculinity in America has engulfed the Right Wing.